We're Missing Something

My mom got me addicted to Facebook.com and now... That is where I have been for days. Playing around on there. They have games like Mafia Wars and Pirates and it is sosososo addicting. lol. So I'm so far behind on here guys. Plus I worked an extra night last night and since I took call for them and got called in, it's time and a half. (dances)

Otherwise, the virus thing seems to have passed, my kitty hasn't come back, and Jim won $100 on a scratch ticket. I thought that was pretty cool. :)

This has been the worst week. First, Jim and I had a huge fight. We were at the lake doing the Go 4th thing and instead of asking me if I wanted him to go away (he just assumed I wanted him to go away because we were stressed about money) he just walked home. I was... the whole thing just sucked.

We got a new kitten from a person at work, and he is a love. Only after all the fireworks last night, we can't find him. He never goes very far and always comes right away. So my guess is someone either stole him or ran him over. And I am pretty fucking sad.

I've been having that weird abdominal pain right below my bellybutton that feels like someone poured acid in there and it's just eating away. It lasted all night one night and that was 14 hours. I kept ignoring it because I worked 3 busy days and didn't have time to go to the doctor. It comes and goes so I figured I'd just ride it out until my days off.

I felt like such crap last night. Nauseated and bloated no matter how much I ate or didn't eat. I didn't get to bed until 3AM. I was dreaming that I had to vomit and I woke up and immediately did so in the garbage can next to my bed. It was a very off bright yellow color that is not the usual color of my... ah, well, vomit. Once I got out of bed I felt really weak and like I was going to faint.

( Cut to save your friends list while I rant )

So here I am at home now after a two hour nap. Had to sleep off the medicine because I made me so out of it. I feel better now. No nausea and no pain. I don't know what's going on inside of me and it does scare me. I know what happens to people with chronic GI problems. Some are in and out of the hospital forever. Some loose parts of their bowel because it just dies. Some get those poop bags attached. I don't want any of that.

I think the birth control pills are also just making things worse for me. I'm really bloated and really moody where the Pristiq was finally helping. This period was actually normal. 28 days later on the nose, started heaving and went light, usual PMS symptoms. So I'm wondering if it was just taking a while to get adjusted to having had Aaron, 12 hour graveyards, and to continue losing weight. After I had Aaron I ballooned up to 170lbs and now I'm down to 146, where I was right before I had him.

So I'm stopping the BC and I'm waiting to call into the GYN office Monday to ask what my ultrasound said. Maybe it wasn't cysts but just life things in general. I'm not going to feel worse ON the BC than I did off either. I'm finally on a med that's working for depression and the Xanax is helping the anxiety. So that part of life is good.

Still, right now I feel like crying because we can't find my kitty. He's so sweet he probably just went home with someone. ;_; He's a little black and white cutie...

And for some reason I can't handle Aaron today. He's really moody and crying a lot. I think he probably senses that we're off from all the stuff going on this week. And I feel badly that I can't seem to handle things well so I can't offer him the comfort he needs.

UGH. Guys, being a parent is so hard.

PHEW! Thanks for reading all this if you have.

Since my early teens no music has been more soothing to me than Enya. For depression, for stress, for writing, for sleeping... I love it.

So I feel like the Pristiq is starting to work and I'm finding I'm less and less tired. Phew. I really want to be able to try a new class of meds. Because if this didn't work it was onto Effexor and while you can really start low and up far on it, it has more side-effects. Also, the Xanax is helping, especially if I take it before I go to work and when I start to feel the anxiety come on. I think I'm going to have to ask for a larger dose, because this doesn't quite take all the edge off, but it's helping.

Tonight though, I didn't handle something well at work and I usually do. I'm usually really very good with the patients even when I want to give them pillow therapy. This one was just really rude to me and all I was trying to do was start and IV on her for her nurse because her nurse was busy. Finally, I heard her nurse out in the hall and said "You're going to have to finish this. I've had enough. I'm not going to be harrassed by this patient anymore" and walked out. O_O guys, that is NEVER me. I have NEVER lost my cool in front of a patient.

So that was kinda very... disconcerting for me. Even during my WORST PMS I've always held it together. I dunno what's up there. Honestly.

After that whole incident I decided taking the Xanax in my pocket I saved for 'just in case' was a good idea. Thank goodness this stuff doesn't make me sleepy. Still I'm still feeling a tiny bit off. I think my period must really be due any moment now.


With all the tired and whatnot this last week I only exercised once. Oops. But I'm going to get back on track this coming week. And for no reason in particular, this last week I've been majorly bloated to the point of a hard tummy. It's really weird when I get it for not even eating anything. But the last day and a half it's been fine again. Go fig.

I think I'm feeling let down by a lot of movies lately for some reason. Or maybe it's just that I'm pensive and want something really really good and there hasn't seemed to have been much in the way of that except the new Star Trek movie and Benjamin Button. But there are good shows. Like Bones. XD

I'm behind on my LJ again. No surprise there! But I really want to get caught up on my replies. And find some random strange communities to peruse. Any suggestions?

Only thing I did over my two days off was sleep, hang out with my family, and Jim and I went out last night to karaoke. It was such fun. We really needed it. I got drunk, but not super bad drunk. No dizzy, no upset tummy, no throw up. Just a little ouch stomach off and on tonight.

I'm stoked though because there's this song of Martina McBride's I really enjoy. It's just so upbeat and fun to sing along to. I've practiced at home but been too scared to try it. I nailed it last night! I was so proud of myself and it was SO MUCH fun to sing! XD Oh, if you're interested in hearing it, it's When God Fearin' Women Get the Blues.

It's day six of the new medicine and boy howdy does it make me tired! I'm really kinda not liking this side-effect. I slept all night, got up at 8am, went back to bed at 8:30 am and slept 'till noon. WTF? I've had issues with being tired before, but never like this! When I got back up I exercised and it felt like weights were attached to all my limbs.

Thank goodness Jim is understanding and this was a day off for him. I hate feeling like I'm being a burden to him because I'm depressed in the first place and then I get a new med and it takes all the energy out of me. I'm just lucky he's so understanding about it.

I seriously could have slept all day and all night again.

Aaron just comes up to me and calls me "Jenny-foofer". My mom nicknamed me Foofer (from that 80s cartoon about a big blue dog, go fig why) and Jim calls me Jenny-foofer. A few weeks back Aaron was like "Jenny-foofer! Jenny-foofer!" And Jim was like, 'no, that's mommy'. Aaron yells back "Not mommy! Jenny-foofer!"

Back to the med, I really hope this side-effect goes away or I might have to try something else. I'm just going to tough it out and try not to sleep so much. :/

Okay, enough whining! Nothing exciting happening here. Just sleep. Though a couple nights ago at work it smelled like someone had let a skunk loose on our floor. It was pretty gross smelling. Lasted for about an hour too.

Now! I want you to tell me something. Anything. It can be nice, rude, silly, make sense, make no sense, be real, but made-up... Just tell me something!! We all need a laugh!

Because I kiss Aaron's 'owies' when he hurts himself, he now does the same. He squeezed my boob pretty hard the other day and I was like, "Ow! You hurt mommy!". So he kissed it before I could stop him. He also kissed my foot when he stepped on it. On purpose, of course. Goofy kid.

Aaron is also starting to outgrow his naps, but he's still cranky without them. We can get him to bed between 8 and 9 though, and I like that. It's good practice for when he starts school. Because I'll probably want him in bed by 7 then.

So we had this 21 old patient. He was on a heart monitor and his heart rate was going pretty steadily in the 120s-130s. Naturally, we're concerned. So when his his rate jumped up into the 150s I glanced in his room (visible from the nursing station, door open, curtain open) and he was masterbating! Ugh, great, I know males do it. I don't care. Just, jeez, if you're going to do it couldn't you close the curtain?! I was seriously squicked for the rest of the night.

I am really feeling good in my role at work now as charge nurse. I do it quite often still surprisingly. I think some of the designated charges ask for days off when they see I'm on or it's their turn to get called off. Either way, it's so fulfilling! I can't believe how wonderful it is to help guide people (most of our nurses on nights are pretty new) and how wonderful it is to learn right along with them when I don't know something. It has just made me love my job more, when I thought it was going to a big stressor (which it still is sometimes, but still I wouldn't trade it). I still also like working the floor too though because then it's just concentrating on my own patients unless I'm not busy and can help others.

I think this is the most entries I've done in one night for a long time.

I'm still managing to exercise 3-5 times a week. I'm feeling really good about it, and really good after I'm done. Like a buzz. A natural high. I've only lost 5 pounds, but some people have asked me if I've lost weight so I must slowly be losing inches. Even though it's hard for me to see!

Sometimes I really wish a lot of you guys lived close by! I'd love to hang with you. All my friends are at work now, so it's hard to get together because we often work opposite schedules. Still, it's really nice to get along with just about everyone.

Lately, I've been really freaking out though. Thinking that all the good things happening are just going to be a fluke and someone is going to realize how I really suck. Heh. That was another think I talked with my psychiatrist about today. It kinda felt good to get it off my chest, though I still felt really silly. I had Jim come with me though, because when I get shy he helps prompt me. Funny, I can be a super strong advocate for my patients, but when it comes to me, I'm not good at all.

Going to put Aaron to bed soon. So I'll have to sign off here. The keyboard is too loud for him, unfortunately.

Oh yeah, and I dropped my $90 flattening iron and broke it, so I had to go buy another one. Ugh. Like I needed to spend another $30 right now as tight as money is. Suck suck major suck!

But hey, I still love life. Love my family and my friends and my job. Just need to get my head in a better place.

Man has this been a dark week. I just felt like I was super depressed and about ready to fly off the handle and kill someone. And no one even deserved it. I honestly just wanted to take a sleeping pill and not wake up. Not cool.

Went to my psychiatrist today and he started me on Pristiq and Xanax. So we'll see how this does. I've researched the Pristiq and it seems compared to it's father drug, Effexor there are less side-effects. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The Xanax is for the extreme anxiety I've had lately. I honestly don't know what the fuck is up with me. It's been WORSE than I've ever felt.

I don't know if it's due to hormones or what, but I'll start a low dose birth control my next cycle to see if it'll regulate. Had the lovely ultrasound today to see if I have cysts or not. I'm now feeling very crampy, since the second half of the ultrasound is having a wand shoved up your hoo-hah. Whoa, loads and loads of fun. NOT.

But, hey, if it can tell me what's going on, I shall suffer with the Wand of Doom and the bladder that nearly exploded from having to drink 32 ounces of water for the abdominal portion of it all.

I'm still struggling here, but I feel loads better just having got this out of the way. I'm hoping something here will do some good. I'm about sick of all this depression and female crap.

I'm watching Ghost Hunt on YouTube and I think it's a fun and cute series. I also finished Bones Season 3 much to my dismay, but then realized you can buy season 4 episode by episode on Amazon.com. Since I sold three of my series I'm done with and got a little over $49.00 for them, I don't feel at all guilty about buying some episodes to watch. I am absolutely obsessed with that series. It is honestly one of the best I've ever seen.

I'm loving Lady GaGa's music. It's so damn addicting. I also really like Duffy. She has such an original voice. Like Amy Winehouse, only without the train wreck.

Aaron is going through some mood growing pains. Just the usual toddler stuff, but man he picked the wrong time to do it. Jim and I have been arguing more lately. Sucks. I think it's all me though, honestly. I'm just not handling shit like I should.

Okay, going to go watch some more Ghost Hunt and probably Bones. XD

I'm very boring lately, guys. Not doing anything too exciting. Just got my hair done and have a shit-load of doctor's appointments. I think I'm going to need to change my depression meds and I've made an appointment with the girly doctor.

( Cut for those of you that might want to pass this by )

Got called off work tonight. I'm surprised it took so long. It's been over a month where we usually get called off every 2 weeks. So somehow I've been lucky.

I be boring, yo. Haven't got anything else to say.

Dude, I totally want to be a teenager in the 80s. I loved the 80s. XD

Ugh. About this time of night at work I find myself really tired and really cranky. I just want to sleep and suddenly I don't want to camp. I don't want to pack everything and unpack and then pack and unpack again. I don't feel like leaving Aaron. I just want to stay home and relax on my days off. Camping is relaxing, but...

I don't know. I'm just being a whiner. I'm not sure what my problem is.

Camping didn't work with Aaron. We ended up coming home that night after spending the day there. He just seemd oversaturated and wanted to get into everything. When we wouldn't let him he threw a fit and cried. I think for now he's just better off a few hours versus days. He's in that age where he's really pushing limits and I think next year he'll be better able to listen.

Jim and I are going to go camping a few days by ourselves now. I always feel so guilty leaving Aaron, but as much as he's been acting up lately (and then much better after spending some time away from us) I'm wondering if he needs a break from us. I was talking to people at work and they said that's entirely possible. I never thought of it that way, as young as he is. But maybe it'll be good for all of us if he stays with grandma a few days and we get time to ourselves.

They've changed our pay periods here at work (why they felt the need to, I don't know, as it always worked before). So some of us are losing a day of work, or others like me get five days in one pay period and seven in another. It is usually 6 in a pay period. So last check was short, but this one will be even better because we contract at 72 hours. I'm technically working over 12 hours tonight so they'll have to pay me time and a half.

I'm wondering if they'll try to fight it. But according to our union that's the way it is. They brought this on themselves by changing our work week when it didn't need to be changed. Plus, there's also a holiday on this pay period and right now before work picks up for Jim, we could use this extra money to sock away.

Exercising is still going well. Diet is a little better. I'm definitely losing inches and it seems I've lost about five pounds. Only 20 more to go! Argh. It sounds soooo daunting.

Ouch. I ate too many Jolly Ranchers and now my tongue is sore. Suppose it serves me right.

I'm ready to go to bed. Tomorrow will be busy. Sleep, get up and exercise, and then go camping. lol, as tired as I am right now, thinking about it just makes me more tired.

Hmm. I want a Blackberry because I like to text rather than talk on the phone. It sucks to text with my plain old phone. But they cost too much and I chose my face over my fingers. For my birthday (I know, it's clear in November, but hey!) I bought some Mary Kay products for my face, hands, and lips.

I'm using a microderm abrasion thingy set and my face looks SO GOOD. I am so shocked! Hahaha, my face never looks super clear. Well, I have some lovely plotches right now thanks to my Monthly Witch, but otherwise the complexion is fantastic underneath it all.

I went to a Mary Kay party my friend hosted and got a free facial done. Even that one facial made my face look better. So I ordered the cleanser and moisturizer. I used the stuff for my hands (they are all tore up because all I do is wash them for 12 hours at work) and they were actually looking good for a week!

Can't wait until they get here! I have searched and tried and tried for years, and never have I found something that works until now. I am still floored.

And randomly, I wish the phone would stop ringing. Argh.

I am so grumpy/tired/icky. The beginning at work sucked tonight because my Monthly Witch decided to be worse the second day. I felt crampy and achy and almost hurled. O_O Everyone around me was all the sudden "Are you okay?". I felt so dumb/embarrassed. I think I got really pale or something. Luckily, the feeling passed and I ate something. I just felt like poop and eating was a faaaar thought from my mind. My belly wasn't even hungry.

I don't know why, but I was thinking today how most of the time I only ever mention the good stuff with Jim. Mostly, I suppose, because it is generally good stuff. But we do fight and sometimes I want to jump up and down on his head.

Example:

Me: (getting out of the shower with Aaron) Jim! Do you need to take a shower?

(I am forever trying to get out of... Well, hell, sqweedgie? Is that how those things are spelled? Well, the ones you use on car windows, we use them in the shower to keep from getting mildew. And I hate it. I'm so lazy.)

Jim: (mumblemumble something from the bedroom I can't hear)
Aaron: Daddy! You take a shower?
Jim: (something neither of us can understand)
Aaron: Daddy! Daddy! You take a shower? (rinse and repeat about five times)
Jim: Jen! Get him to stop saying that! It's driving me crazy.
Aaron: (I am drying off, thus having tried yet) You take a shower?
Jim: Argh, shut up!
Me: James! Don't tell him that! It's mean!
Jim: Well it's mean for you not to get him to stop saying that when I asked!
Me: ... You know, you can take your bad mood and shove it up your butt!
Aaron: Up your butt!
Me: (thinking Crap! Look what I just taught him!)

All was well in the end. I hate shut up though. It's rude and I don't want Aaron learning it. It's just a pet peeve of mine. Be quiet is so much nicer. Grrr.

Ahem, mind you, this is the day my Monthly Witch first starts and I'm in a fine mood, cranky as all get out. But still. I hate 'shut up'.

Tonight Jim calls and tells me he got a ticket. A $550 dollar ticket. Why, you ask? Well, he went quickly into a Minute Mart and left his truck running because the starter is going out (we need to get a new one soon). A cop with nothing better to do runs his plate and sees that it belongs to a Spree and not a truck. Why? Because Jim put his old Spree tags on there. I don't remember this, Jim of course forgot about it, and so he gets cited for altering a license, expired tags, and then, get this, for leaving his truck running.

What? Even if there is such a law, who the hell tickets for that? A cop with nothing better to do, says I.

Granted, Jim deserved those first two citations. And I would so much rather have paid $30 for tags than FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY!!!!

But it wouldn't have happened at all if the cop hadn't been bored! That and Jim tried to talk his way out of the tag thing, and the cop said he's write him up for leaving his truck running for lying. Not sure what I think about that. I think it's kinda petty, as he's not Jim's dad or something.

I dunno. He shouldn't have tried to lie, no doubt, but I'm so irritated with cops on power trips and LOOKING for some reason to ticket. Even my step-dad who is a police seargent stated that he writes more speeding tickets when he's in a bad mood. How fair is that? Not at all.

So, yeah. Bad day all around.

I am excited. I'm posting from my sister's laptop. lol. I've never played around on one of these before, believe it or not.

We've been hanging out at my mom's all day. It's been nice to visit. They have two cats who gave birth within days of each other and there's 7 kittens. They are all so cute. But they have goopy eyes so I spent a while trying to get them open. Two of them were SO excited when their eyes were open. It was kinda sad... They were climbing up on the side of the bed and looking at me like Oh my gosh! We can see! I fell in love with one that let me pet his belly and interacted with me, tried to play with me. They're only about 3 weeks or so old. I want him. He can be a friend with our kitty. Jim says no, but I'm going to work on him.

My parents have crazy hilly land. Jim fixed the riding mower and went mowing. Only he went where he shouldn't and FLIPPED the damn thing onto him!! The blades were RIGHT BY HIS HEAD. He's so lucky he didn't get hurt and I was/am still freaked out by what could've happened. He was yelling but we were all inside and didn't hear him. Gonna take me a while to get the image out of my head of what might have happened. He needs to quit being a daredevil.

Work was busy the last few nights so I didn't even get to get on. I'm off 'till tomorrow. It's a nice rest. I was running from room to room, blood running on one, diarrhea in another, low blood pressure in another (but low kidney function too so it was a balance to rehydrate him but not fluid overload him!). Oh yeah, and anxiety attack in another. O_O It feels really good to manage it all and get it under control, but man.

Jim and I decided to take Aaron camping. I think he'll handle it well, and if not, we can always come home.

Ah... I forgot what else I was going to say. This always happens... Hope everyone else's weekend is going good. Some year I'll get caught up on my replies.

I have been a bad girl about updating lately. I had four days off and Jim is on a two week break from school, so you can guess where I've been. The weather was nice so we did outdoor things and went to watch the new Terminator movie. Actually, I've also seen the Star Trek movie since I last posted. Hahaha! I thought both were really good, but Star Trek was decidedly better. I think we've been waiting for a Terminator one for so long, that it was almost a let-down.

We're going camping a few days at the beginning of June. I'm excited, but I wish Aaron was old enough to go with us. Soon, soon.

I've continued to exercise, though my diet has been suspect lately. I need to be careful. My Montly Witch is almost here though and around this time of PMS I want food. Losts of bad food more than I usually do.

My meds seem to be working good now. I'm feeling better than before. Less down times. And when I get down, more importantly, I'm able to get out of it rather than be stuck in it all day. I think that is definitely the best part.

I had my yearly eval this last week and it was really nice. I didn't get dinged on anything! She only told me to keep doing what I was doing and continuing to grow. So many people stopped by her office and said good things about me; that's so nice! I'm proud of myself, but at the same time I admit a little anxiety, like this is almost too good to be true. I've wanted to be here so long and now I'm here and things are better than I could have imagined!

Sometimes, even after four years of being with Jim, I still need to pinch myself... But, well, it took 27 years to get Jim and what, 30 or so to get to where I am in my job. So I guess I deserve it. I just want to continually remind myself of how lucky I am.

So now that I've finally got a lot of aspects of my life under control, it's time to admit I need to work on my health. So I'm really needing to stick with the exercising and shape my diet up more. Diet is the hardest part...

Alright. Enough blabber from me. I'm hoping I can get caught up on my friends list within the next few days.

Happy Mother's Day to all moms! :)

I've been a bit of a recluse again. I was sick for my second day of work and had to call in. Not sure what I had. Just woke up feeling really nauseated and all of my joints hurt. Only lasted a couple of days. Last night I got called off work so I ended up having five days off. Hung out with family members, and Jim, Aaron, and I watched movies at home.

We saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and both of us loved it. I've never really cared for Brat Pitt, but he was awesome in this movie. We tried to watch Marley and Me but we got too pissed off at the dog and how Jennifer Aniston's character was treating Owen Wilson, lol. So we had to stop watching it.

I've been keeping up with my exercising and I'm very proud of myself. I gave up my coffee too. I haven't lost weight yet, but my belly is already shrinking and I'm fitting into my clothing better. Woo hoo!

They're doing a bunch of changes here at work that irritate me. I could go on and on about it, but you'd probably all be wondering what the heck I was talking about. So I'll just say I was irritated and surprised when I got back after my days off and found out what was happening.

... almost two hours later I am back. Had to transfer a patient to the critical care unit... Hoping goes well. But... I'm not thinking so.

Gotta eat now. Talk at you all later.

I got all caught up on my replies! Woo hoo. Go me. Now I just nead to get caught up reading my friends list. Hahaha.

Tonight was my first night back at work after five wonderful days off. It was purse insanity. So busy and crazy. We had a patient leave the hospital and security couldn't get the patient back. So we had to call the police and have them do it. It was very strange explaining everything to the dispatch guy. He was very nice and helped me through it easily though.

We got the patient back and in place and watched very closely. But wow, that was a hectic time. Especially because the patient is detoxing and totally out there. Definitely not safe to be in public. Patient walked barefoot and in a hospital gown to Arby's...

Ahhh, getting back into the swing of things.

One random more note, hahaha, because Aaron is so cute! He has a little train set and one of them is an open top cargo (in neon green, lol) and he put some rice chips in there. I guess they're making a delivery!

Also, he smiles and laughs so much. Everything is funny to him. It's great. He giggles, I giggle, he giggles... and a giggle fit happens. I love it when he plays peekaboo with me now too because I'll say, 'Aaron, where are you?' and he'll say 'I'm right here, momma!'

I'm proud to say too that we have succeeded in making him polite. He says please, thank you and you're welcome. XD And at the right times! People are so shocked at how polite he is, and that actually makes me sad because it's a testiment to just how little people value manners anymore.

I changed his poopy diaper yesterday (potty training is still iffy. We did get him to wear pull ups though!) and said "You stink, Aaron!" He laughed and said "No, you stink, mommy!" I about died. Laughing that is.

Okay, enough mommy love.

It's raining here again. The sun was nice while it lasted. But driving in the rain reminded me of the time I was driving down the road in a downpour and lost the windshield wiper on my side. That was a long, scary drive home.

I was called off my last day of work, so I've had five days off. It was nice. I've spent time with my family and managed to exercise 4 of those days. Tomorrow will make day five, which is what I'm aiming for a week. But if it's only 3 or 4 due to life and work, that's better than nothing!

My co-worker recommended this book to me, Skinny Bitch and I read it in two days. It's... ah eye-opening what they do to animals to get our meat. I'm so turned off by meat right now that I haven't eaten it in two days. I'm so hormonal I almost cried. It's horrid, guys. I'm certainly not going to describe it here. But this book made me really think about what I'm putting in my body. I'm going to test their theories by changing my diet bit by bit and continuing exercising. If it makes me feel better, then I might just have to continue it for life.

I went to the health food store in our area and was floored by all the Vegan and organic things! Things that taste good! And are good for you. Aaron loves these nacho cheese rice chips. He's managed to eat nearly the entire bag himself already by snacking on it here and there. I tried the Vegan cookies with fudge stripes, and but for a tiny different taste, they're practically the same!

Here's the thing though. I've been eating meat my whole life. Mostly chicken and turkey at holidays, a steak here and there. I try to avoid burgers for how fattening they are. But after reading what they do to them and what they put in the meat, I'm almost convinced I'd be better off. I'm just not sure how strong my will-power is yet until it's been a few weeks from reading this book.

So, I dunno...

Our landlord is fixing our shower Fri, Sat, and Sun. So we're going to stay over in Portland Fri and Sat at a hotel and take Aaron to the zoo and the Children's Museum. That'll be fun. I'm so excited! Sunday I have to work, so I'll have to see if my Grandma will be home so I can borrow her shower. Heh.

I'm waaaaaaaay behind on my friend's list again! Go me! And I still haven't replied to replies. I'll probably start on them and then realize some of them have expired from sitting so long. lol!

My psychiatrist started me on Ambien to help me sleep. I can't remember whether I've blogged about that yet or not. Hahaha! But so far it's working really well. I don't feel overly drowsy when I take it and I wake up refreshed. As a matter of fact, I have more energy during the day than I've had in a long time thanks to this little teeny tiny pill!

On my work days I don't take it. But I can fall asleep with less help on those days because I'm so tired. It's going to be weird going back to work after five days off! I'll feel a little out of place. Especially because it'll be my first work day NOT being charge in a month! I'm really going to be feeling like a fish out of water. But I'm glad to get back into that so I don't loose sight of what it feels like to be on the floor or to have 5-7 patients at once.

Though as charge sometimes, I'm doing so much it feels pretty hectic. But I can still say I love it and I'm lucky to be in this field where there is constant intellectual growth and personal satisfaction out of taking care of people.

I'm putting off reading the third Twilight book. Hahaha, it's because once I'm done with them, there'll be nothing else! Except to re-read them after it's been a little while. Plus, work has been SO busy that I haven't had time to read there. The last day on we had 10 admits! That's a lot, honestly, for night shift. And there's less help on nights. We don't have our own secretary after 11:30 PM so guess who takes off and enters all the orders? Me! And I help and it can just be crazy! But I still love it. Ahhh... insanity.

I think there was more I wanted to say, but I can't think on it. It's almost time to put Aaron to bed so I'm logging off here. Just wanted to check the weather and then book our hotel room if it was nice. And it should be!

Um, and I suck. I know I need to reply to replies to me. I think that's going to be the task for tomorrow. We're getting another admit soon and I'll be doing the orders. That'll take up a while and then it'll be med pass time again!

So I am sorries I am so slow at replying. I always do this. I'm a Grade-A procrastinator. Even when I enjoy talking with you all! It just seems daunting sometimes, the list of replies to do.